Praise Chart framed in the "positive opposite"

Praise Chart framed in the Positive Opposite

According to Dr. Alan E. Kazdin, Sterling Professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry at Yale University and Director of the Yale Parenting Center - the key to increasing positive behavior is to state it in "positive opposites." 

In simple terms, state a good behavior to replace the one you don't want.  Genius! 

So instead of saying, "no," "stop" or "don't" and then naming the bad behavior...we are to state the behavior we are looking for.  For example, your child constantly leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor after taking a shower.  Instead of "why can't you pick up your clothes?,"  or "stop leaving a mess in the bathroom"...try the positive opposite, "Please put your clothes in the hamper." 

We know that the ADHD brain has a hard time regulating.  We know that statements that start out negative can put them on the defense and cause further dysregulation.  Our job as parents is to co-regulate, helping our kids find a calm and oriented state.  It is estimated that, on average, children with ADHD receive a full 20,000 more negative messages by age 10, than do their neurotypical peers.  How many of those do we want to come from us, their parents?  Stating behavioral goals in the "positive opposite" is one way to counter these negative messages.

We also know that the ADHD brain thrives on rewards, as opposed to consequences.  "If you don't pick ip your clothes, you're grounded" may work in the short-term.  But it's not a long-term solution.  A better way to build habits and light up the reward center in the brain, literally tunneling new neuropathways, is with a Praise Chart.

A Praise Chart has a clear goal, stated in the positive opposite.  In this example, your child's goal would be, "Build the habit of putting dirty clothes in the hamper after my shower."  Each time he or she does so, they get a star in a box on the chart.  And once the chart is full, they earn their reward.  It is a good best practice to have them choose their reward in advance, so that they know what they're working toward.  There are 25 boxes on the chart, giving you 25 chances to congratulate your child.

What better way to start combatting those 20,000 negative messages.  Plus - you get sustained changed behavior as a bonus!

-Casey Saxon, Orton-Gillingham Associate-level trained, Member COPAA, Non-Attorney Advocate

Founder - The Studio. for Advocacy and Reading